Habits

When something is done recurrently and often in an unconscious pattern of behaviour that is acquired through frequent repetition, it turns into a habit. Sometimes, these habits can intertwine with daily schedules and become a part of life. Before you know it, these unconscious pattern of behaviour slowly grow as a default state of mind. But when the day that these "defaults" are no longer needed after so many months or even years, a sense of lost emerge. You try to remember what it was that occupied your time and energy before that particular habit imprinted in your mind. You try very hard to go back to those dull routines and fight against the feeling of lost. You even tell yourself that if you didn't get so attached to the habit before, then all of these wouldn't happen - the withdrawal, the agony of lost, the hopeless attempt of finding something to fill its place... How can something that is so trivial produce such a monumental effect? Maybe it has nothing to do with the action so to speak, but largely due to the people that the action allow you to interact with. In a sense, the feeling of lost is not due to the habit, but of the people that you associate or share the symbolistic action with. Maybe trying to break such a habit is as hard as denying that you are missing those who were once dearly involved in your heart.