A couple of things happened on the weekend that made me realise how much pressure I put on myself while helping someone out. I found that when I was asked to lend a hand, not only do I simply lend a hand but probably opted to carry the load of responsibility inadvertently. And because of this, I tend to get more tense and nervous than the person who the task was first appointed to. Most of time, it's fine - the situation turn out with a favourable outcome and everyone's happy. But sometimes, I get extremely frustrated when I feel the pressure of responsibility that I don't think I deserve. What's more is that I actually went all out for this person to achieve what they want, yet it is them who don't seem to care. It wasn't my "thing" to worry about in the first place, why do I feel guilty or a sense of lost when in reality it is their thing that didn't work out? Some people can actually take advantage of this while others may think this is just part of my personality.
I still enjoy and readily believe in helping people out while asking nothing in return, but this poses another question - is it a given to provide help? A number of times already, I have placed myself in a relatively vulnerable position while helping people out. Sometimes, I wonder whether it is all worth it? Once this thought start to creep into my mind, I have to supress it - coz it comes along with the negativities of being calculative, unappreciated and the feeling of being used. So, I have to move on - finish the task and hopefully tomorrow is a better day! I am not saying I need my friends to show me gratitude for doing them a favour, but at the very least, I don't expect to be faced with an attitude or feeling I am intruding when what I am doing is not for my own good but theirs. Of course, who else do I blame but myself for taking into heart other people's matters!
I still enjoy and readily believe in helping people out while asking nothing in return, but this poses another question - is it a given to provide help? A number of times already, I have placed myself in a relatively vulnerable position while helping people out. Sometimes, I wonder whether it is all worth it? Once this thought start to creep into my mind, I have to supress it - coz it comes along with the negativities of being calculative, unappreciated and the feeling of being used. So, I have to move on - finish the task and hopefully tomorrow is a better day! I am not saying I need my friends to show me gratitude for doing them a favour, but at the very least, I don't expect to be faced with an attitude or feeling I am intruding when what I am doing is not for my own good but theirs. Of course, who else do I blame but myself for taking into heart other people's matters!
2 comments:
将心比心。 现在我才开始明白原来待人要像照镜子， 人怎么对你， 你怎么对人。 一味的付出是没有用的， 因为有时候你会发现， 原来掏空了自己的一切， 别人却把你的付出都踩在了脚下。我不要再努力了， 如果我们是真正的朋友， 我想你总会来找我的。
I don't see any responsibility in helping people. You help people and you get nothing in return. There's no contract or obligations involved so the person asking for help should not expect you to take responsibility, unless he is "paying" you for the "help". I think everyone should use this guideline as a mutual agreement during helpouts.
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