Balance

Sometimes we do certain things we thought is good for the people we care for – maybe you went that extra mile to ask how they are going; maybe you’ve made their favourite food; maybe you went out of your way to help them out. Most of the times, they acknowledge it and greatly appreciate it. Most of the times, you don’t expect them to do anything back since you believe seeing them okay and smiling is all you ask for. This is all fine coz the people involved have an unspoken mutual understanding and they work around an invisible balance between them. This isn’t a calculative balance that discriminates givers from takers. This balance works in maintaining the equilibrium of both parties that they are feeling comfortable with the way they are being treated.

Once in a while, this equilibrium can be disrupted. What if going that extra mile actually made the person uneasy? What if going out of your way to help someone out actually traded back with the statement that it wasn’t your business anyway? What if treating someone good, in reality, loaded an overwhelming pressure on the other person? Initially, you would feel rather hurt by the above scenarios coz you didn’t know treating someone good may in fact be so hard. What originally was thought to be of good intentions turns out to be disastrous. Then, you start to realise to care for someone doesn’t necessary require to be in their face all the time. Take a step back and look at the situation in the other person’s point of view. Maybe you would’ve reacted same way, maybe you wouldn’t, or maybe you would be worse. Slow down and re-establish the balance you guys are comfortable with. Sure, this new balance is probably not what you would’ve hoped for but you can only work from there.